(Today is May 14, 2026)

Like in a movie when there is an overall shot of the earth which then narrows down to a country, then to a city, then to a street, to a house, to a room, to a person. As my normal life is left in the dust and an entirely new reality is thrust upon me, I am perceiving things with macro lens. 

I've always appreciated birdsong but right now it sings sweeter than ever before. Perhaps due to our emergence from a long and bitter winter, the chirping rings so tonally pure as to hit my eardrum like a beautiful sonic elixir that literally makes me happy to be alive. 

When I found out my diagnosis, my immediate reaction was I wanted to be outside, be surrounded by nature, immersed in the healing of mother earth. The clarity of my awareness of natural surroundings has somehow heightened since that day, no longer embroiled in the day to day worry and stress of being a full-time musician/artist. 

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(Today is May 19, 2026)

I never finished that blog entry! My attention was diverted and off I went… probably to make a bite to eat and then the day rolled out. Since then I've had another MRi-guided biopsy and labwork. Today, 5 days later, I feel pretty good, we have a full week and a half with no appointments, no tests, which hasn't happened since the onset of this whole circus. Chemo treatment number 2 is in 10 days.

It's amazing to me how quickly one's life can fall away. Everything that I was so wrapped up in, stressed about or just busy, busy, busy with floated away. Perhaps it's just all in a bubble 3 feet diagonally to the right above my head bopping along as a walk around, waiting to be re-assimilated when all this is done. Or perhaps it all got sucked up into some crazy transformation machine that grinded it all into minced meat and it's all being reformed into something that will be completely different and new. I'll only know when I get there.

For now, I'm managing side effects and working on what I can. We just finished putting together and uploading our online concert for World Goth Day. We were invited to take part a few months ago and we had decided that instead of filming something in our rehearsal space, that we would put together footage of live shows. So if you catch it on Friday (May 22), you'll see footage of some shows we played in April including the one that ended up being the last one before the break in Easton, PA.

Ok, that's it for now. I was feeling pretty normal today so I actually got into my studio and packed up the tshirt orders and put the bat fabrics together to start sewing the orders that came through a few weeks ago. One thing a friend told me who went through this a few years ago… when you feel good, take advantage of it and do stuff. So I'm going to do stuff, I'm just not gong to rush or get stressed about it.

Big love XO